The Dating Minister
Today is February 29, and to mark this once every four year occurrence, it seemed a good time to ask a Significant Single Sister if women still need the boost of empowerment from this quadrennial opportunity, aka St. Bridget’s Day, to approach a man. Minister Kristen Kimble, the creator and blogger of The Dating Minister has a fantastic site where she chronicles her thoughts and experiences in the dating world. She is candid, funny and real while simultaneously providing a ministry to other singles. She was gracious and shared her thoughts about a flipped script in the dating world.
Do Women Still Need a Special Day to Approach Men?
After researching the history of St. Bridget’s Day I laughed to myself. Women proposing to men? Men having to pay a fine if they didn't accept?! The struggle was real, even back then! As a single woman over 30 looking to be married, I can relate! The dating scene is a bit rough and my mother has already declared she is afraid she will never have grandkids, so apparently, I have some approaching AND proposing to do! St. Bridget’s Day seemed to encourage the confidence and boldness that some women needed to claim what they desired, marriage. But I believe confidence comes from within and is a decision daily made. Every day I wake up and decide that I believe in myself. When I look in the mirror I compliment myself before anyone can see me. When I walk outside the door and face the world, I carry those self-affirmations with me all day. Now is it that easy every day, not at all! Some days are better than others, but the more I define myself through the eyes of God and encourage myself, the more my natural self-confidence exudes, and the more patient I become in waiting on Him. Can and should a woman approach a man, sure! Let your interest be known. Be bold and confident every day, believing in yourself. But leave the marriage proposal to the man! Remember, he is the hunter. Don’t take his God-given role away! God’s perfect timing is not a holiday, but it is absolutely perfect!
Settle vs. Compromise
In regards to relationships, I believe settling is downgrading ones morals, values, and/or beliefs, due to fear of not gaining what is desired. I believe compromise is a decision that serves the greater good in order to achieve a goal without loss of morals, values and/or beliefs. Compromise is a give and take with the knowledge that you will eventually have the opportunity to do both. Settling is mainly giving yourself with little in return and much more devastating consequences. Personally speaking, as rough as the dating scene can be at times, I've found myself struggling between settling and compromise because my end goal and desire is to be married. I may meet a guy, who says that he is ‘spiritual’, but doesn't set foot in a church, open a bible, or submit under a spiritual authority; but he's fine with a good job, education, and perfect teeth! I can settle with a non-Christian man who can't pray for me, cover me, and let alone lead me spiritually because he's the best I'm going to find out here, right? Wrong! As a minister and an active member of my church, I'd be miserable if I settled for that, let alone angry, frustrated, and every other negative emotion that comes to mind. I know God has better up his sleeve! But if I meet a man who is saved, involved in church, can pray for me, but only wants 2 kids, but I desire 5 (which I really do...LOL), if its truly for us to be together according to God, I'd compromise with 3. It's for the greater good, my morals and beliefs aren't diminished, and the goal of being a parent and raising beautiful kids can come to fruition.
If you Ask a Man Out, the Date would incude...
I don't think I've ever asked a man out on an actual date, but if I did, I would simply ask if he'd like to hang out one Saturday afternoon. I'd plan a day of adventurous activities, such as paintball, zip-line, rock climbing, the shooting range, etc and end with dinner at Busboys & Poets, my favorite restaurant and date spot! I like activities in which a man can show off his athleticism, and we can be a bit competitive, because I am super competitive! I love a good challenge!
Follow the life of Minister Kimble, you will enjoy it no matter which marital status box you check